Bap! Pow! Zing! The Bat-Blog! (UPDATED!)
Published by z February 27th, 2006 in Batman, DiariesThe Comic Blogs: Written by those who truly wear their underpants on the outside.
Hi Everybody! I know you’ve been dying to hear how everything turned out with Jason. Sorry to keep you waiting, but even Batman has to do his taxes, and if you think Batarangs are deductible, you’ve got another thing coming.
When I left off, I was on a rooftop with Jason, the Joker was in a room surrounded by explosives, and a very large bomb went off in Bludhaven, where Dick Grayson lives. If that weren’t enough, I was also breaking in a new pair of boots, and my feet were killing me.
Ohmanohmanohman….
Published by z February 24th, 2006 in MiscellaneousI don’t care if I can’t remember the name of the damned newspaper; I’m still very very very very excited about this Spiderman poster. I’d describe it as being like nerd-porn, if that role wasn’t already filled by… y’know… porn.
The Daily Bugle Blows
Published by z February 21st, 2006 in MiscellaneousLast night, me and the roommates went to trivia night at a bar. (Team name: Mystery Chocolate) Now, I’m no good at trivia. The only reason I can remember my dad’s birthday is because it was the combination to all of our luggage. Even then I have to go find a calendar so I can remember which month is “6″.
Up Up and Away! The SuperBlog!
Published by z February 17th, 2006 in Diaries, SupermanThe Comic Blogs: Written by those who truly wear their underpants on the outside.
I’d like to take a second to toot my own horn, but I can’t. I’m Superman, and it’s a Superhorn, and the last time I tooted it I impregnated a dude. It was pretty incredible, though I felt bad when everyone made fun of him in gym class. On the plus side, the last time I went back to Smallville I heard the hormone therapy is really helping him. Good ol’ Todd.
But if I can lose my Super-modesty momentarily, I would like to say something: I’m the shit. Whoever you are, wherever you’re reading this, The Supe has totally saved you from certain doom like, a bajillion times. I could give you an exact number, but Super Counting isn’t one of my abilities. So it really gets my knickers in a twist when somebody starts criticizing me, which is where my story begins.
Bap! Pow! Zing! The Bat-Blog!
Published by z February 10th, 2006 in Batman, DiariesThe Comic Blogs: Written by those who truly wear their underpants on the outside.
Okay, I’m back. When I last posted, Jason Todd, my formerly dead Robin, came back as the Red Hood, kidnapped the Joker and sent me a lock of green hair and an address.
Does anyone ever do that thing where you have a conversation in your head with someone who isn’t there? Like, you imagine what they’re going to say and you plan out some really good replies? I do that all the time, and as I was on the way I was rehearsing my reunion with Jason. I don’t want to get into too many details, but I figured we’d fight a little, then he’d cry and yell “You let me die!” and then I’d hold my arms open and say “If you believe that, then kill me”. (Pretty good, right?) Then we’d hug and go beat the Joker up like old times. In my head I was already fitting him for a brand new pair of yellow short-shorts. (I’m still not gay.)
A Brave New Undertaking
Published by z February 3rd, 2006 in Batman, DiariesSo, when I first set out I was going to try to write about my favorite past-time: reading comic books. Hence the name of the site. As it turns out, when you write about comic books, it’s really hard not to sound like you have an extra chromosome or four. (For example: Green Lantern has a ring that shoots green light that he can form into solid shapes. You’ll notice that in a description of his powers, the word “lantern” never appeared.) If you know anyone who follows a soap opera, ask them to sum up the current storylines. Then time them to see how long it is before they say “look, you really need to watch it to understand.” That’s what describing comics is like. When I do a Lost post, I spend 1000 words just describing who the hell everyone is, and according to Pokey I’m not even doing that good of a job.
Basically I’m explaining why what follows might just suck. But give it a chance. I’ve come up with a different angle, and I’m pretty excited. As I do with 24 and Lost, I will try and make it funny and do my best to write it so that you don’t have to read the comics or watch the show to enjoy it.
Introducing a new feature to Underpants on the Outside: The Comic Blog – by those who truly have their Underpants on the Outside.
The inaugural episode…The Bat-Blog
I’m telling everybody right now, I think it’s going to be one of those weeks.